Posted by Anonymous on 2012/06/24 under Uncategorized I’m at work. I work at a university where I also attend school. I’m about to graduate with my bachelors in psychology in 2 weeks time and I’m falling apart. I just spent 30 minutes of my shift crying in the bathroom. I haven’t cried like that since I was a teenager. I feel like if something big doesn’t happen soon I’ll go insane. I also feel completely selfish. While others wish they could enjoy the privileges I enjoy and some still are just struggling to survive, I’m here crying about being ordinary and having a mundane life. Nothing gives me joy anymore, and if it does it’s only for a fleeting moment. I don’t want to do anything, I have no passion. Yet I want to be somebody. I have to be somebody. I know I need to find a job just to pay the bills, but I don’t want that life. I thought this is why I went to college. So I wouldn’t be living that kind of life. As it turns out, it’s the only life I can have. I am constantly sabotaging myself and I have no idea why. I know I’m talented, but I’m not talented enough. I feel like I’m so close to something, but can never quite reach it. It’s so frustrating. To see all of these possibilities and opportunities right in front of me, but feeling too tired and too weak to grasp them. I feel so cut off from the world. I have a boyfriend and I have a few close friends, but people I don’t know I can’t seem to talk to. I stammer and feel my heart race whenever someone asks me a simple question and I never used to be like this. I’m building my own personal prison and I don’t know how to break down the walls.